After looking over the comments on the joke thread at Defective Yeti, here are a few of my favorites:
- Q: What did the perverted frog say?
A: Rubbit.
Q: What do you call a Polish astronomer?
A: Copernicus.
Q. Why can’t the Buddha vacuum in the corner?
A. Because he has no attatchments.
Buddha walks into a pizza joint and says, “Make me one with everything.”
The cashier says, “That’ll be $9.50.”
Buddha hands him a ten. Waits. Waits. He says, “Where’s my change?”
The cashier replies, “Change must come from within.”
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.
He gasps, “My friend is dead! What can I do?”
The operator says, “Calm down, I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”
There is a silence, then a gunshot.
Back on the phone, the guy says, “OK, now what?”
A traveller in America from Mexico needs some socks, but he speaks no English. So he finds a department store and walks up to a salesperson. The salesperson says, “May I help you?”
He replies, “No hablo ingles.”
The salesperson says, “Oh, okay, I’ll hold up things and you tell me if that’s what you want.”
They pick up a shirt.
“No.”
They hold up some pants.
“No.”
They hold up a tie.
“No, no.”
Finally, they hold up some socks.
“?Eso, si que es!”
“Well, if you knew how to spell it… “